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Inspiration in Reality -- No Matter What
Your natural state is consistent joy.
I can give you a definite example from my own life. My husband (of
seven years, my best friend) and I have decided to get divorced. We
are great friends but not really compatible as husband and wife. We
are both independent, strong, and involved in our own work projects
which doesn’t leave any energy or time for each other. We basically
lead separate lives and it’s been this way for over a year. So it
makes logical sense to move on but it’s still a shock. It’s still the
saddest event of my life. I can’t in a million years believe this is
happening to me. Me! Other people get divorced, but me? Us? This isn’t
possible. This can’t be happening.
But it IS happening.
So how does one reclaim joy when everything seems to be going “wrong”?
Well, I can only explain how the sequence of events as they happened
to me. First, when we discussed getting divorced, I’m the one who
brought it up. I said “I can’t do this anymore. I don’t have the
energy anymore to be a wife. I’m not wife material. We make great
friends, but we’re not lovers, not husband and wife.” My husband
quickly agreed that he felt exactly the same. He actually sounded
relieved. I didn’t expect him to agree so readily. I thought he might
put up a little bit of a fight for our marriage, for me. But instead
he told me that he loved me but that he’s not physically attracted to
me and that he’s felt that way for quite a long time. It felt like
being socked in the gut really hard.
This is all happened yesterday and here I am writing about it today.
How is it possible to be happy the day after you’ve received news of
your own divorce?
It’s easy. You take total 100% responsibility. A Course in Miracles
along with all the scientists, and many movies (like The Matrix) are
quick to remind us that the world is a hologram. There’s nothing solid
here. The world doesn’t exist. It’s a dream of my own making and does
not exist. Everything is energy vibrating and the world we see is
light reflected that gives the appearance of something solid. But
there is nothing here! It’s all just light.
So whatever my “husband” is saying to me only exists in my own mind as
my own thoughts about myself. This is 100% responsibility. My husband
is an image that I have made.
The truth of the matter: I want out. I want change. I want to get out
of the routine and feel alive again. I don’t want to keep dragging
along in something that I know (deep down in my heart, mind, and soul)
is no longer working. But because of the sheer GUILT of this, I
project the guilt outward and make my husband seem like the bad guy.
Then the story starts to solidify. You actually will start to believe
things are happening to you! You will begin to believe the story.
You’ll start to think that circumstances are controlling you – you’ll
believe you are unhappy because you have no money, because your health
is failing, or because your house is in foreclosure. You’ll actually
believe the words and criticisms your human ears hear. You believe all
the sights and sounds. But the one thing you forget?? None of it is
real. It’s all projected imagery from your mind, based on the thoughts
that you are thinking about!
In every single solitary situation, no exceptions whatsoever, there is
another way of thinking and looking at things. Always. Guaranteed. You
have the ability to change your mind and see events differently.
So back to me and my story: the realization that I’m getting divorced
hit me like a ton of bricks. I cried for about an hour last night in
the bathtub. I was thinking of all the good times we’ve had and how I
wished things could have turned out differently. Isn’t this the whole
human condition?? Isn’t this the real reason for your anquish?
IF ONLY THINGS HAD TURNED OUT DIFFERENTLY. IF ONLY THAT PERSON WAS DIFFERENT.
IF ONLY HE LOVED ME MORE. IF ONLY HE COULD SEE MY GOOD QUALITIES. IF
ONLY HE APPRECIATED ME MORE. IF ONLY HE REALIZED WHAT A MISTAKE HE IS
MAKING.
And right there in the middle of this crying, I came to my senses. I
saw myself crying. It was like someone else watching me sitting there
in the bathtub crying, except that we were both sharing the same body!
Quite an experience when there is a silent observer watching you act
out in anger or fear or sadness! Who’s watching? Who’s observing?
Suddenly then, there was a 3rd person observing!!! It was someone
observing the oberserver who was observing the crying girl. LOL. 3
people all rolled in one, sharing the same Lisa Natoli body, looking
through my eyes. I was watching this scene, detached from it now. Then
I stopped crying because I was no longer the girl crying, I was the
observer. I hope this makes sense! It was like I was ABOVE the whole
scene, just a silent witness, except that I was still in my body.
Then I started to laugh. I thought: My God. My whole life just
changed! I’m getting a divorce. It’s a brand new beginning! Anything
can happen now!
I was instantly happy. I could see new possibilities that hadn’t been
there five seconds before (while I was stuck in “Woe Is Me” mode).
I thought: My God. I have no idea where my life is going to take me!
This is so exciting!
Suddenly I was filled with new hope, new enthusiasm, a new joy for living.
I have used this technique in countless situations: when I don’t have
a dime to my name, when things are going “wrong,” when the bills are
piling up, when my cat is on his deathbed, when it looks like every
door is closed. I find another way of looking at the situation. I take
100% responsibility, and remember: THIS IS A DREAM OF MY OWN MAKING
AND DOES NOT EXIST.
I remember that I am Spirit. I am Love. I am Joy. I am one with God. I
am one with Creation. I have a function here in the world: to be
happy. To remember the truth.
And then I get instantly happy … no matter what is happening around me.
Suddenly life is one big adventure and all I have to do is enjoy the
ride, the ups are just as fun as the downs.
Lisa Natoli:
Lori Yearwood asked me to write an article
for the new issue of Skode's publication
about “Quality of Life” and ‘being happy no matter what.” This is a great topic.
Is it possible to be happy all the time, no
matter what is happening around you?
The answer is yes.
Postively, absolutely … YES!
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To email Lisa, click here.
Lisa Natoli is the author of the book Gorgeous for God,
which based on the principles of A Course in Miracles.
Her mission is to “inspire individuals to be as God created
them … perfect.” For more information and to sign up for her
daily blog, please visit her website: www.gorgeousforgod.com
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